A few months ago I wrote about a
15 year old boy who has been very dear to my heart.

At that time he was struggling deeply with life. He had experienced many things no one should … and especially not at his age.

I spent many months trying to make him see what he was not able to see inside himself. He constantly told me that he was not the boy I thought he was and that he didn’t deserve my care. And then the final question … “Svenja, why am I still alive?”

The sleepless nights, the tears for him, the time spent, the desperation of him just refusing to see who he really is inside … until he started to get better.

A few months have passed since then. He is in a different building now with his friends, and I sometimes sneak in to see how “my kids” are doing. But I’m watching from afar now, trusting that the seeds that were planted last year would grow little by little … someday.

The “someday” came much sooner than I expected. And I can’t even start to describe what I’m feeling right now.

Today I went to school to check on some files. While we were talking with some colleagues, one suddenly asked me about the boy.

We told my new colleague the story in short, and he started checking the computer and pulled out the new report card of this term and showed it to me.

I just saw the first lines and I couldn’t hold back my tears. I reread it over and over again.
It said “A” and “he demonstrates exceptional understanding and
application …”

Then I saw more marks and the comments of the teachers …
“A”s and “B”s everywhere …
“impressive articulation verbally and written, insightful observations, enthusiastic, faithfully completes all the homework and assignments, eager participant, understanding of extended topics, bright, curious, talkative, thoughtful questions, determination to succeed, strong and confident personality, smart, respectful, completes work on time, well-articulated, energetic, athletic, with strong passion …”

This is the same boy I found broken last year, asking me why he is still alive.
The same boy who has seen way too much in his life.
The same who would hit walls out of anger and pain,
who would wear headphones in class and not listen to anything or anyone,
the one who would barely smile,
let alone talk except for his couple of friends,
would never do his homework,
never prepare for exams.
Concentration was non-existent,
energy was non-existent,
hope was non-existent …

His report card back then read like this: “distracted, not focused, not listening, disruptive, inconsistent, no effort, disengaged”.
His marks between “C”s and “F”s for the most part.

He literally made a 360-degree turn within just a few months.
This is an identity shift.

If you knew how much pain …
the desperation I felt about his stubbornness to not want to see what
I saw in him.

And now I get to see all the words I used to describe him with on this piece of paper … and they are not coming from me!

They are coming from 10 different people who finally see the same in him as I did.

I remember the first time I saw him.
I was sent into the classroom to see another child. But he caught my attention straight away. I don’t even know why.
I remember I left the class early, went straight to the owner of the school, and told him …
“I want this child. He is something else! Let me talk to him.” I have never done this before, but with him I did. And from that day on, our connection was sealed.

From day one I told everyone that this is a child who can change the world if you let him!
I don’t know how often I repeated this sentence to everyone around him.

And now I see this … partly from teachers who I didn’t even train or ever talked to.

That means it’s not coming from me talking to teachers …  it means that he lived up to the expectation and showed everyone what he was capable of!!!

The shift in his mind about who he is inside and what he expects of himself in this world.

When my colleague saw how much this report card affected me, he printed it out, put it in a protection, and handed it to me to keep.

I just thought, “How ironic is this?” Because back then, when he asked me why he is still alive … I used his old report card to make him understand that his way of thinking was going wrong. It cracked him open… after months and months of push and pull dynamics.

When he finally understood, he asked me if he could keep the report card to hang it on his wall as a reminder of who he is.

And now I’m holding this new one in my hands that reads like a testimony to … “yeah, that IS me!”
And now I’m the one wanting to hang it on my wall.

Sometimes you don’t see the outcome of your work. And at times people even put obstacles in your way.
Sometimes you see the results much later, and sometimes you will never see them. But they are there, even if silent. And this is the proof.

All the pain and detours have been worth it …for me and I’m sure also for all the teachers that accompanied him last year.
If this is the man he is turning into … I’ll take it anytime again!

I cannot repeat this enough: Behavior is just communication! See straight through it!

Be the person who holds the image of who someone is before the world can see it … and even before he himself can see it. And stay (!)even when you are the only one seeing it, when it’s painful, unrewarded, lonely, and misunderstood at times.

This is what happens when one adult refuses to collapse a child into their worst season.

It’s about holding hope when the child itself can’t,
staying when the system labels, tolerating not being believed,
loving without guarantees,
animating others to see what you see…

It is heavy, but meaningful. You may be the person who turns around the entire life of a human being.

Children don’t need a whole city to support them. Sometimes they just need one person who shows them that there is an exception to the rule…
the black swan.

I wish you will get to witness what I just witnessed at least once in your life.

Tonight, I’m sitting here with relief beyond words, tenderness, awe, humility,
and the biggest respect and love for this child who didn’t give up fighting to find his truth and start living authentically.

I’m incredibly proud of you.
Cheers to real life!