We all have songs that hold special meaning for us … songs that remind us of certain situations, people, or feelings.

In this category, I will collect titles of songs that deeply influenced me in my work with neurodivergent and traumatized children, as well as in my personal life. I will also explain why they hold this place for me.

Most of these songs revolve around the topic of identity, because when we peel away all the behaviors and coping mechanisms and learning difficulties we see on the outside …
this is the core issue we are dealing with when it comes to these children and grown up children. Losing sight of who we really are and the consequences it brings with it.

Maybe some of you will recognize themselves in the songs … or perhaps they will bring you a sense of comfort or soothing.

I will update this post whenever I remember a song or discover a new one.

I will start with the most powerful one for me personally:

When I heard this song for the first time I think I listened to it nonstop for 3 days straight and couldn’t stop crying for the entire 3 days.

It came at a time when I had overcome my trauma and had finally understood who I am inside and what I am here on earth to do.

I had just started Wild Minds and my work at the schools and privately has taken another level. Schools have heard about my impact …
People started knowing my name and calling me to help their child instead of me having to run behind them to beg them to get a diagnosis for their child in school so they could finally get the help they deserved.
I was in a good place ..

But listening to this was the final healing needed: The acknowledement of all the work I had done to get here… now being unable to unsee the truth anymore. And now I’m honoring all this by using my experience to help others…

Because who you are has always been inside of you.
We are just starting to protect ourselves, thinking that if we hide who we really are inside, we are helping ourselves to survive, shielding ourselves from pain and rejection.
But we are not… In the end, unknowingly, we amplify it.

I got to be me. There is no other way. Losing ourselves, living somebody else’s life … leads to excruciating pain, regret and resentment, hopelessness, lonliness, feeling broken, too damaged to be “fixed”, like being a bad person who only causes trouble to others, no self worth, feeling of never being enough, difficulty feeling real joy, not daring to be happy because already anticipating the next blow, believing you don’t deserve, believing you don’t belong, this need for control, not standing up for your rights, no self respect, no self value, no self confidence, chosing people who don’t chose you, losing your boundaries and values, shrinking yourself, people pleasing, perfectionism, ignoring your own needs, putting others above you, exhaustion, constant stress, inflammation, depression, anxiety … and I could keep writing till tomorrow….

You hide the pain, but it’s leeking through sideways, …
And the behaviors that come with this, I see every single day in the schools, with friends, people on the street … everywhere.

For me, having had a good look at myself, seeing where I was playing small, hiding to protect myself, learning about my values, my non negotiables in life, my strengths, my needs … becoming the person I wish I had as a child, was the biggest aspect to healing myself.

So … here I am now, fighting for others, who are in the place I have been and want to come out on the other end. Fighting for the kids to not even get to that place to start with.

This is who I am. And now I can’t look back anymore. I grieve the time I lost, but I’m deeply grateful for finally having the clarity… so I can help others who are walking the same path… but especially help preventing children to have to walk the same path!

Lyrics … Who I am – Wyn Starks

I’ve been closing the door
All my life, held it in but not anymore
Got two feet on the floor
This is it, I’m stronger than ever before

Pardon my imposition
But this is my conviction
I need to get this off my mind

Chorus:
I gotta be me, gotta be I
Gotta be who I know I am inside
Can finally breathe, taking it in
Look at me flying!

It’s always been there, it just took me a minute to find it
If I were to be anybody else, I’d just be hiding
Who I am
Who I am

Lookin’ back, back on a little boy
Never gave him a chance to ever be more
I didn’t love him but I’m gonna love him right now and forever
It’s time to push open the door

Chorus

Gotta be me, gotta be I
Gotta be who I know I am inside
Can finally breathe, taking it in
Look at me flying!

It’s always been there, it just took me a minute to find it
If I were to be anybody else, I’d just be hiding
Who I am
Who I am

It’s always been there, it just took me a minute to find it
Who I am, yeah