𝐃𝐢𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐀𝐃𝐇𝐃 𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞?

I was called into a classroom to observe a little boy who had recently skipped a class. Suspected giftedness. But the child’s behavior was off the charts. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like it. Don’t get me wrong, he is the sweetest of boys, but his hyperactivity was next level. We would have needed a classroom like the ninja warrior obstacle course, and he still wouldn’t have gotten tired.

He was only diagnosed for giftedness. I have no idea how they missed the hyperactivity, seriously.

And now you are dealing with a so called 2e-child.

𝑇𝑤𝑖𝑐𝑒 𝑒𝑥𝑐𝑒𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑙. Gifted and neurodivergent. 2e means a child can be highly able and have a learning difference or ADHD / Autism at the same time.

𝐿𝑒𝑡 𝑚𝑒 𝑗𝑢𝑚𝑝 𝑖𝑛 𝑚𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ𝑡𝑠 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑎 𝑤ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑒 𝑢𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑙 𝐼 𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑏𝑎𝑐𝑘 𝑡𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑦.

I’d like to talk about executive functioning with you. There are about 12 of them.

Imagine your brain is a movie set.

Executive functions are the director: keeping the scenes in order, calling “Action!”, managing actors, and making sure the story makes sense.

With ADHD, that director is brilliant but a little chaotic: sometimes they misplace the script, switch scenes halfway through, forget to yell “Action!” or yell it too soon. The movie still happens, but it’s full of bloopers, behind schedule, and hilariously over budget.

𝐇𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐣𝐨𝐛𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐀𝐃𝐇𝐃 𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐫𝐚 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐱𝐞𝐜𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐟𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐬.

𝐼𝑚𝑝𝑢𝑙𝑠𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑟𝑜𝑙: stopping before acting or reacting.

𝑊𝑜𝑟𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑚𝑒𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑦: remembering instructions while doing the thing.

𝐸𝑚𝑜𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑙 𝑟𝑒𝑔𝑢𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛: big feelings, fast … from frustration to joy.

𝐹𝑙𝑒𝑥𝑖𝑏𝑖𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑦: switching plans or accepting change without meltdowns.

𝐴𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛: staying with boring or repetitive tasks.

𝐺𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑒𝑑: knowing what to do but feeling stuck.

𝑃𝑙𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔 & 𝑝𝑟𝑖𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑧𝑖𝑛𝑔: breaking big tasks into steps.

𝑂𝑟𝑔𝑎𝑛𝑖𝑧𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛: both thoughts and backpacks can look like a tornado hit.

𝑇𝑖𝑚𝑒 𝑚𝑎𝑛𝑎𝑔𝑒𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡: living in “now” or “not now” -mode

𝑃𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒: giving up when bored or blocked.

𝑆𝑒𝑙𝑓-𝑚𝑜𝑛𝑖𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔: wondering, “Did I do this right?” “Why do I always forget?”

𝑆𝑡𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑡𝑜𝑙𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑐𝑒: shutting down when pressure is high.

Kids with ADHD don’t choose this. Their brains are wired differently.

Executive skills keep developing into the late teens and early 20s in everyone. The prefrontal cortex matures last. So, it’s normal that children don’t have it all figured out yet. But ADHD kids show delay in the development of executive functions by roughly 30 percent.

And now you may have a 10-year-old child but with executive functioning skills of a 7-year-old.

What does this mean for my little kiddo? He has the intelligence of a boy that is 13 years old (according to the diagnosis), but the EF skills of a 7-year-old. Being 10 years old for real. The psychologist told the parents to be very strict with him and to treat him like he is a 13-year-old defiant teenager.

That’s a problem, because this child may reason like a 13-year-old yet self-manage like a 7-year-old … while being 10.

The last thing you want to do is to treat that child like a 13-year-old or even 10-year-old. You mismatch support to his executive level, not his IQ. He needs expectations and scaffolds that fit his EF age, not just his brainpower.

𝟑 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮…

1. ADHD rarely travels alone. Roughly 3 in 4 children with ADHD have at least one co-occurring condition (trauma, learning differences, ASD, anxiety, depression etc.). That’s why a full, careful evaluation matters. Half a diagnosis is just as bad as none.

2. Executive functions drive daily ability. Skills like starting, planning, shifting, regulating emotions, and managing time are often about 30% behind in ADHD . Set expectations and supports accordingly.

3. Double check who you get a diagnosis from and triple-check diagnosis. If the plan doesn’t fit your child, get a second opinion and ask assessors to look at IQ and EF, not IQ alone.

𝐃𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐨𝐧 𝐩𝐚𝐩𝐞𝐫 … 𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐢𝐬 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮.